Singapore’s Delights, Part II: A First-time Experience
By Art Fazakas;
Guest Travel  Writer

I'm at an Internet cafe which is QUIET! The problem with many Internet cafes is the noise from games. In Sydney and Melbourne, people receive calls on their mobile phones, which is annoying. I wonder if there ought to be a policy against talking in computer rooms. Some forbid gaming between midnight and 8 a.m. It's very hard to think when rockets are blasting spaceships to pieces and kids are shouting, "GOT 'EM!"

The sheets and towels in my room are changed daily, which I consider a luxury. I tried to tell them it's not necessary, but it's easier to just let them follow their routine. Also, my pillows are always stacked rather than side by side, as if to say, "You are just one person here."  Laundry is expensive! I should take it to a Chinese cleaners myself, but a little luxury is nice!

When I asked for a Post Office, I was directed to a POSBank branch twice. Another time I was sent to Mailboxes, Etc. That was okay since they by law, the cannot charge extra. I decided that next time I would ask for a GOVERNMENT Post Office. So at a shopping center, I asked a security guard, "Is that a GOVERNMENT PO?" to which he exclaimed, "Of course!"  It was.

I have not needed my umbrella for an entire week, to my surprise - only on my first day, before I bought it. But of course, had I not bought one, I would have been drenched several times.

Hiking alone at Bukit Timah nature preserve, I felt somewhat vulnerable. A downtown sign reads, "Low crime is not no crime."  Singapore deals harshly with criminals: A man convicted of murder had his sentence reduced to ten years and ten strokes of the cane, because the defense showed that the prosecutors had not proved his guilt beyond reasonable doubt. And recently a man convicted of rape was sentenced to 10 years and 14 strokes of the cane. 

On my recent visit to Malaysia, a woman asked our tour guide if there's crime. He said, "Oh, a little but it's not a problem. In Malaysia, possession of more than a certain amount of an illegal substance is automatic death, and so is possession of a firearm, loaded or unloaded, without a permit. We might have an occasional purse-snatching, or break-in, but nothing more." Perhaps punishment is a deterrent! But of course the guide was not going to say, “We’ve got lots of crime.”

At Bukit Timah Preserve, beyond what would have been a perfect view, I saw a huge sign with "SINGTEL" in large red letters on what looked like a TV dish. The coexistence of nature and technology.

On Saturday, I visited the Singapore Zoo, where the parrots, which live up to 60 years (my guess was 10 y ears, are trained to shake their heads, turn around and do tricks on command. There are 358 species of parrots worldwide, of which 110 are represented at the Singapore Zoo.  At the daily bird show, two parrots flew across the audience through hoops on each side and then a middle hoop, at exactly the same moment!

And one parrot flew about 100 feet to a man with his arm outstretched, landed on his hand, picked up a dollar bill, and brought it to the Master of Ceremonies onstage.  Then, on command, the bird took it back to the man and dropped the money in his hand. A parrot counted to ten and sang “Happy Birthday” in English, Malay, Hindi and Chinese, after which people of each nationality clapped loudly. I can attest to the quality of the bird’s English.

Singapore is a young country - average age is 33 years. No wonder I feel old! People ask me if I'm retired, and many assume that I'm working here, considering my age.

The Jurong Reptile Park is a disappointment for various reasons: the highly visible and ugly construction  (usually hidden at other parks) and the dominance of Buddhist shrines and shops selling incense and candles. I have absolutely nothing against worship! But why at a reptile park? The air is heavy with incense. I would guess that many Chinese come to pray, not to look at the crocodiles.  When I arrived, a boy asked if I wanted to "buy" a pole and a piece of meat to dangle over the crocodiles, to watch them savagely snap at it. I didn't, but one of the young guys put on a show for us. A prominent sign reads, "Please don't feed or disturb the animals."

One morning at breakfast, I met an Indonesian woman returning from New Zealand, where she had been a fruit picker for two years. She was planning to spend a few days sightseeing in Singapore. When we met at the Art Museum, she had learned that her house in Jakarta might have been burned in the wave of political violence, and that she didn't know where her brothers or sister were. I wondered if perhaps her real reason for being in Singapore was to delay returning home? (Tourist visas expire after 30 days but can be renewed. However, DON'T overstay without permission.) I have not heard from her since.

Next morning I went on Frommer’s recommended walking tour of Chinatown. You can enter many of the temples, but must remove your shoes (not a problem.) At a huge Hindu temple, a man tells you the times of the thrice-daily worship services. He also says, "You can photograph for three dollars.” I chose not to, but did take many photos at the Chinese temples. In bygone days, Chinese immigrant workers shared beds in stifling upstairs rooms, two men working alternate twelve-hour shifts in sweatshops. When a bed was occupied, the one off duty would wander the streets looking for more work, or play card games and chew betel nuts. Most of the streets and buildings have been preserved, but many of the original markets and artisan shops have been replaced by tourist shops selling souvenir hats, scarves, key rings and postcards. Singapore plans to transform a major part of Chinatown into a cultural theme park, which many believe will destroy the charm of the district.

One day I told a bus driver I was going to Rochor Road. Yes, he said. Our route didn't seem right. Finally on a large curving road in front of the Museum of History, I knew we were headed for Orchard Road. I

got up and asked, "Are we going to ROCHOR Road?" He replied, "No, sir - to Orchard Road." Oh. I said, "I want ROCHOR Road, not Orchard." "Then please get off and take bus No. 7."  I did, realizing that getting upset would not improve the situation. It was simply a communication gap, almost inevitable when travelling overseas.

On my way to Jurong Birdland, I inquired at the MRT (rapid transit) station about Loon Bay. The clerk said, "You can go to Boon Lay on this train." I said, "Boon Lay? I want Loon Bay." The attendants looked at each other, confused. One said, "It’s Boon Lay, sir, downstairs." I descended the escalator, took out my map and discovered there is no Loon Bay. The lesson: one can’t be too observant.

  To reach Palau Ubin, an island, you have to take a "bum boat." And what is a bum boat? Sorry, I don't know yet. But to an Ozzie, "bum" means "butt” (for you Americans.) So "bum boat" would seem redundant. Like saying, "It’s a bum bus." Of course you sit on a bus. Then again, I doubt the American sense of the word is intended in this context.

  An American man on my one-day Greyhound tour to Kukup in Malaysia said, "Be sure you don't go to Orchard Towers; it’s called "Four floors of whores." To quote Frommer, "Prostitution, while illegal, is tolerated." Which means that in theory, a customer and his proprietor could be busted. But from what I hear, it's a lively trade – like everything else in Singapore.

If you have an opportunity, your visit to this jewel of the Far East will be richly rewarded.  

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