YOU’RE A REDNECK OKIE IF:
Saying no to crack, reminds you to pull your jeans up.
Makes change in the offering plate at church.
Goes to the family reunion to meet women
If you get married in Oklahoma, and divorced in California -she’s still your sister
When his dad walks him to 1st grade in school because he’s in the same class.
When someone asks you for your ID you show them your belt buckle.
You’re a person that would carry a can of paint to the top of the water tower to defend your sister’s honor.
LOVEABLE COUNTRY REDNECKS
Did you hear about the South Carolina redneck who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow? She can't touch it until she's fourteen.
How do you know when your staying in a Kentucky hotel? When you call the front desk and say, "I've gotta leak in my sink" and the person at the front desk says, "go ahead."
How can you tell if a Texas redneck is married? There is dried chewing tobacco on both sides of his pickup truck.
Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi? A documentary.
How many rednecks does it take to eat a 'possum? Two. One to eat and one to watch for traffic.
Where was the toothbrush invented? Oklahoma. If it was invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush.
Arkansas State Trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40. He says to the driver, "Got any ID?" The driver says "Bout what?"
Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery? The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
Why did O. J. Simpson want to move to West Virginia? Nearly everyone has the same DNA.
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Little Rock, Arkansas burned down? Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park.
A new law recently passed in North Carolina: When a couple gets divorced, they're still brother and sister.
What's the best thing ever to come out of Arkansas? I-40.
Two Mississippians are walking down different ends of a street toward each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says "Hey Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?" "Jus' some chickens." "If I guess how many they are, can I have one?" "Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them." "OK. Ummmmmmmm . . . five?"
What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas and a hurricane in Florida have in common? Somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer.
A Mississippian came home and found his house on fire. He rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here. My house is on fire!" "OK," replied the fireman, "How do we get there?" "Shucks, don't you still have them big red trucks?"
Why do folks in Kentucky go to the movies theater in groups of 18 or more? 'Cuz 17 and under not admitted.
What do you have when you have 32 Rednecks in the same room? A full set of teeth.
Compliments of AceGuru Publishing